“Remember now your Creator in the days of your youth, before the difficult days come… remember your Creator before the silver cord is loosed”  Ecclesiastes 12:1,6

In the above verses, the preacher of Ecclesiastes provided a final appeal to his readers to attend to the matters he had brought to them, before they are no longer able due to the infirmities of old age, or worse yet, death!  As such, how immensely important it is to settle certain matters in the “days of your youth”.  When one is young and the body and faculties are strong, it is easy to fall prey to the idea that certain important matters can be put off till later.  However, the preacher wrote in verses 3-5 how the “the strong men bow down”, “the grinders (teeth) cease”, “those who look through the windows grow dim (failing eyesight)”and “”they are afraid of height”.  Not only physical breakdown occurs, but consequently the mental and emotional faculties often will no longer be able to operate as they once did.  Memory lapses, confusion and circumstances looming larger than they really are, often accompany old age.  These can indeed be “the difficult days”.

One area in life that needs to be dealt with while the faculties are still operative is the matter of hurts and grudges left unforgiven.  These feelings can often be masked outwardly in earlier years, but the ugly effects of them often begin to emerge when the faculties can no longer suppress them.  Anger, unwillingness to resolve, and unreasonableness are the characteristics of lifelong held feelings of resentment that have matured into bitterness.

And because of this lifelong habit, new hurts simply become added to the others with no resolution.  It can even happen that a kind of self-righteous “nobody has seen the troubles I’ve seen” mentality can emerge, where one can’t even see anymore that perhaps they are the ones who have offended, or that the wrongs they perceive are not even real, or have been blown out of proportion.

How much better it is to resolve such issues as soon as possible.  We’re commanded, “if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men”, and to “pursue peace with all people” (Romans 12:18; Hebrews 12:14).  Our Lord Himself said, “If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.  But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matthew 6:14-15).  He was essentially saying that the hallmark of true believers is forgiveness, because that is when one looks most like Christ, in whose image the believer is being brought into.  When one doesn’t forgive, that one should then very seriously examine the reality of their confession.

Sometimes it happens that trying to unravel a hurtful matter with the “you said… he said… I didn’t say that” approach is like to trying to unravel a hopelessly tangled ball of twine.  Every effort seems to only create new knots.  It may very well be that the only truly loving, peace-seeking thing to do is to simply overlook a perceived hurt…. and then to forget it!

But these are habits that must cultivated over time, and as early as possible in life.  And it starts by often contemplating the great offense and corresponding owed debt because of sin that we’ve been relieved of by the life, death and resurrection of our great Savior and Lord Jesus Christ.  That was the point of the parable in which Jesus spoke of the man who was forgiven by his master of a debt he could never pay, but then “went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii; and he laid hands on him and took him by the throat, saying, ‘Pay me what you owe!’” (Matthew 18:28).  What an ugly scene Jesus painted in that story, but it so vividly puts forth the terrible picture of an unforgiving, “you owe me… you hurt me”, un-Christian spirit.

The apostle Paul wrote, “whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – meditate on these things” (Philippians 4:8).  And isn’t in God’s word where we find all that is true, noble, just, lovely and of good report, including Christ-like forgiveness? It is the habitual meditation on God’s word which forms our thoughts, fills our hearts and regulates our behavior.  Indeed, the use of the mind in this way serves to progressively shape the affections and the will to truly love as Christ loved.  To do otherwise is to open the door to spiritually unhealthy thoughts, and ultimately to what can become lifelong destructive tendencies.

Think of it!  How terrible will our days, hours and minutes be on our death beds with unresolved hurts and grudges.  Instead of thinking on and preparing for what lies ahead, instead of passing on a good word to those left behind, we would still be agonizing over what should have been let go in forgiveness and perhaps confession.  After all, that grievance may very well have been something we did and never came to grips with.

By God’s grace, may we heed the word of the Psalmist who wrote, “Lord, make me to know my end, and what is the measure of my days, that I may know how frail I am”, and “teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom” (Psalm 39:4; 90:12).